Explore Your Mind

Deconstructing Gwen

Gwen Hughes is an angelic Diva that I am honored to call my friend. While I am merely internationally ignored, she is internationally renown for her performances and songwriting. Yeah, she's that good! If you want to hear for yourself, why not take a moment to check out her Electronic Press Kit?

She's humored my pesterings of musical questions and nurtured my ambition to produce a new, modern-Euro sound for her music in the past, but now she's gone one further... actually collaborating with me on two new songs of hers!

Now Gwen and I are two very different musicians (if I can even call myself that). We often talk at great lengths about how different our worlds are. True, I have modest keyboarding and music-producing abilities, but this woman sings and plays piano for a living... a real professional.

So I eagerly accept the opportunity to "re-produce" or "re-mix" one or two of her songs... but can I do it???

Well, I found it quite amusing that path I had to walk to be able to absorb her music, and so I created this post... let it bear witness to the genius that is Gwen.

Input

Two mp3s arrive in my mailbox. I eagerly listen to them. On first glance, they seem like complete songs... drums/bass/keys/vocals (all done by her). I play along with them, figuring out the chords (more or less) as the songs play and I think, "yeah, I can do this."

Now I should spend a moment discussing the ways one can go about re-mastering a song. The first method, identical to the way a DJ would re-mix a song off the radio, is to use the song itself as the building blocks to create a different song. The entails sampling the song into lots of little bits, which itself might require some audio processing.

For example, let's say I want to use a bit of the song as a base for a new song, but the part I want to use has vocals on it that I don't want. Well, you can consider a song to be like a layer cake: at the bottom layer (the lower frequencies) is the bass, and other instruments are found occupying higher layers. (Drums, especially hi-hits and snares, comprise the highest frequencies.) By using audio processing techniques, I can "cut out" instruments (even voice) from the original recording!

But, due to the fact that sound "leaks" between the layers (as harmonics) the end result isn't as nice as if I had started with clean recordings of each individual instrument.

Add to the fact that I'm serious... I want to create a 24-bit, 44.8KHz recording... and that I'm starting with a .mp3 (which is already lossy) and you'll soon see that any end result I do would have to again be redone with higher-quality source material.

It's not like me to do something 1/2-way.

The second approach, also widely used, is simply to re-create the song first, using local instruments, so that one can start with high-quality recordings. A bonus of this approach is that if done properly, one gets more than just a recording... one gets a capture of the creation process that can be edited (say, changing a note, or a trumpet to a sax)!

I knew before Gwen ever sent me anything that I would want to use the latter approach. Why? Because I'm a musician... I feel like I have a larger expression with MIDI data than I do with MP3 data. Besides, if I'm going to help write a song, I think it's reasonable to assume that I could play the song.

The Devil's in the Details

But with Gwen... that turned out to be a much larger problem! See, Gwen is a professional jazz musician... her stuff is a bit more complex than the usual drivel that I was used to on the radio. (Even the "sophisticated" stuff I listened to is pretty simple by comparison to jazz.)

While I could play along with her songs, I was a LONG way from being able to reproduce what she sent. I could add to it, but not create from scratch. No matter how hard I tried to hear what was going on, it was stuff I had never heard or seen before and I was stymied.

I knew however, that if I just watched her play the song once, I would be able to reproduce it. God has blessed me with that skill. So, frustrated, I called her and asked for the chord charts. This would at least verify that my chord guesses were correct.

Well, after busting my chops (rightly so) for not putting more time into learning the song, she sent me the charts. (Thanks!) I now owned a few pages of symbols that, when presented to a musician might actually "sound" like a song- but in my hands, were just stark reminders of how much I was not a jazz musician. Armed with a map to the song, I began my quest.

Creating Audio Samples

The first step was to take her mp3 and break it down structurally in a way that it would be represented on a chord chart. To do this, I loaded the song into CoolEdit and meticulously set markers corresponding to the start of key measures in the song.

The next step was to get my recording studio setup. For this part of the song, I needed a mixer, drum machine, and samplers for the bass, piano, and strings. That was the easy part, harder is programming the instruments!

I started with drums. The song only has a basic 16-beat drum pattern looped, so I figured that would be a good place to start. Using the samples I just created, I figured out the beats per minute (113) and set up my recorder to loop over the first 16 beats while simultaneously playing the first 16 beats of her song. I listened to that drum pattern over and over on a loop until I could anticipate each beat. Once I could play the drum pattern, I programmed the drum machine and took a deep breath in preparation of doing the same thing with the bass and piano.

Normally, I can pretty much play along with a song on first hearing, but *replicating* a song is completely different. "Anal-retentive" attention to detail comes to mind. I won't say how many times I had to listen to just the first bar of the bass+piano, but a few hours later, I had something close!

However, this was just "replicating" ... this wasn't "playing." With heavy rhythmic devices like drums and bass, this is okay, maybe even preferred, but with other instruments, the result sounds ... mechanical. So, I quantized the bass (forced the notes to align on specific beats) and armed with the chordal structure as well as a close approximation of exactly what notes were being played, I put the the drums and bass on a loop and tried to "feel" the song. In other words, I had to "figure out" the unconscious little motions that Gwen used to make her music. (This is why it's easier to do if you can actually watch someone do it!)

Now, I won't say I replicated exactly her fingers, but it's really close. If anything, I have a tendency to "hear" more than what is actually there, so my recording might be a bit "heavy-handed" compared to her delicate fingerings. That's okay; now that I have the notes in MIDI format, I can delete (or edit) them later if needed.

And so, after a total of around 8 hours of work, I've replicated about 25 seconds of the song!

Recall that the point of doing all of this isn't to replicate the song, but to START from that point. So, I'm looking at more hours of tedious work before I can actually start to be creative and start contributing to the song.

Well... no one said it would be easy! Of course, I'm sure for some people, it is!

If you're curious... here's Gwen's original recording and then my version. The instruments might sound different (easily changed) and the volumes might be different (easily changed) but the notes and rhythms should be there. And, even if they are a little off, I can change them too without having to re-record. I love making music ... well, I will when I actually get to make it! :)

Stephen Trask Is A Musical Genius

Great lyrics, great music!

On Love:

But I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same as the one down in mine. That's the pain, cuts a straight line down through the heart; we called it love. (Origin of Love)

On being a post-op transsexual:

When I woke up from the operation I was bleeding down there. I was bleeding from the gash between my legs. My first day as a woman, and already it’s that time of the month! (Angry Inch)

On perseverance:

Forgive me, for I did not know. 'Cause I was just a boy and you were so much more than any god could ever plan, more than a woman or a man, and now, I understand how much I took from you. That, when everything starts breaking down, you take the pieces off the ground and show this wicked town something beautiful and new. (Wicked Little Town)

On being transsexual:

I look back on where I'm from, look at the woman I've become, and the strangest things seem suddenly routine. (Wig in a Box)

On healing:

Breath. Feel. Love. Give. Free. Know in you soul, like your blood knows the way from you heart to your brain, know that you're whole. (Midnight Radio)

On moving from London to Muncie:

'Cause with all the changes you've been through, it seems the stranger's always you. Alone again in some new wicked little town. (Wicked Little Town)

Visions from the Pacific

A good friend of mine suggested I take a drive down the Pacific Coast Highway from Monterey to Big Sur before I left California. (And you didn't know I was even out there, eh?) The scenery was so moving, she composed a list of the form "It is so beautiful ..." and in that spirt, I'd like to do the same for my trip, so here goes.

It was so foggy ...

1. Carmel should have been named White Chocolate.
   
2. I felt like I was inside the world's biggest bong hit.
3. I couldn't see myself holding my picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm.
4. If I closed my eyes, I could almost see the ocean.
5. Foggy 'ol London-town seemed like San Jose by comparison.
6. Why are all those dogs barking and where did the come from?
7. Big Sur could have been a her.

Since I'm from the MidWest, where the weather comes from, I wasn't going to let a little fog ruin my trip. Perhaps I was in such a good mood because of the little roadster I was driving. I felt like I was in a car commercial... the faster I went around those mountainside curves, the more the car hugged the road. It was like driving sex. I felt bad for not having bought the mountain dinner beforehand.

So in my post-asphalt glow, I hiked down the side of the mountain and sat and meditated. I focused on the barks of the otters. I became the barks. I contemplated my existence and my future, and found it to be reflected in the fog surrounding me. Then, as the clouds parted and I could for the first time see the oceans and animals below, I went back to the car and took a photo (shown above).

About the photo... the one posted here doesn't do justice to the original one I created. it's 20,000 pixels by 6,000 pixels and for you to experience it as I designed it, you would need to stack 5 monitors on top of each other, and then replicate that 16 times to the right. (!) Cutting-edge technology is like Sesame Street to me... anyone want to fund my artistic endeavors and research? :)

Oh, if you're curious how I could memorize such an innane little list about my experience that has nothing to do with reality... I used a memory palace. The palace I used was London, outside my flat, and here's the image I created which helped me remember the list:

A polar bear smoking from a Roor (brand of bong) outside my flat with a dog barking at it, held by a dude in a dress eating carmel candies with his eyes closed.

Neat, huh?

Leap of Faith

I've been preoccupied lately, mostly with trying to fight the rotting away of my soul in this spirit-sucking swamp, all the while slowly biologically dying on the inside. I fear it's a losing battle. Please bear with me while I seek higher ground.

My only joy comes from playing an old digital piano. It doesn't sound like a real piano, or even a cool digital one, and it makes me miss the one I left behind in London, but it's all I got and I play it for hours on end. Recently, as I started to compile all the songs I've written, I came across one that I had nearly forgotten about, "Leap of Faith."

I wrote it at the end of a three semester-long humanities course in college. In that class, we read - I kid you not - a stack of books 6 feet tall ranging from the oldest known human texts, to standard religious and political texts, and also the works of notable scientists and philosophers... as well as your basic world literature. No doubt it was the beginning of my consciousness, taking a small town hick mind and exposing it to the greatest minds of Western history. Thank you, Dr. Jennings.

Anyway, at the end of this course, we had to write a long dissertation - a what we learned kind of thing - and at the time, I was less fond of writing and typing and more prone to composing music. So, this being a new-agey kind of class, I got permission (commisioned?) to write three songs - one for each semester - summarizing my experiences in lieu of a (mere) 20-page paper.

Leap of Faith was one of those songs, and represented that tipping point in human history where man dared to say, "God is dead," but before (Western) man had developed any alternative philosophies to choose from. In other words, the song represents man's struggle to find meaning in the darkness he just created. (At 19, my world-view did not yet encompass pagan and Eastern philosophies, so experientially, for me, it was also a period of spiritual darkness.)

As I look over the words I wrote oh so long ago, and as my fingers remember thousands of notes and rhythms they once knew, I am forced to wonder, "Have I discovered another timely message to my future self from my former self?" I mean, I don't care who you are, 6 months of bible-thumping believers holding hands and praying before every meal will get to you ... eventually.

I'm reminded of that young mind who wrote the song, obsessed with nothing but getting the fuck out of dodge. And here I am, nearly 15 years later, back where I started.

Here's the original recording featuring a good friend of mine, David Hines on vocals.

Leap of Faith

words and music by Clio
vocals by D. Hines

(verse A)
Poor little man, someone's
Taken you by the hand,
Told you nothing you could ever do
Would make a difference at all.

But don't you know that
Soon we all must go?
And the world will go on existing
As though you never did.

(verse B)
So now you fear that every
Thing you hold so dear is gone,
And you won't let go of them.

Well I guess
From the looks of your mess,
That they won't let go of you.

(bridge)
Can you make another day,
Or do you have to stay home and pray
That the world will make some sense to you somehow?
Can you take the leap of faith?

(chorus)
If you don't know you'll be safe
In a world that makes no sense to you at all?

We just have to start anew,
Redefine what is true,
and take nothing for granted anymore.

(verse A)
Oh I heard you shout,
You had to let it all out,
"How can I go on when every thing
I ever knew is no longer true?"

Hey little man,
You have to understand
That faith is not logic
And knowledge is not faith.

(verse B)
Did you run and hide and scream
From inside your fortress
When you heard that God was dead?

Your soul is free,
Why don't you let Him be
From the thanks for your daily bread?

(bridge)
But will you help your fellow friend,
And will it matter in the End,
When we're ashes to ashes and dust to dust.
What's the point in tryin' at all

(chorus)
When everyone is building walls
With signs on them that say, "Go Away from me."

(piano solo, repeat 1st chorus, end)