News U Lose

So that promising job offer, the one with the position exactly suited to my Ph.D., you know, the important usability stuff making a difference for health care providers of America? Call it woman's intuition, but I think they found out my 'secret' and have decided to hire someone a little less freaky. :( Oh, they haven't said so much, but the pattern is the same: they have done a 180 from earlier conversations, and, only after my prompting, have they disclosed that now they won't be hiring until Autumn and don't call us, we'll call you.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed! Today, however, I had help.

A computer keeps calling my phone, looking for Neil Patrick Harris, or Neil Diamond, or some Neil who isn't here. The recorded message plays so fast, it's taken me over a month of these calls - like today, usually at 6am - to finally get all the numbers down so I can call back and tell them to quit calling me. So I call, and I - patiently - explain that I'm not Neil and that they'll need take my number off their call list...

"Thank you sir, have a nice day."

Arrgh! Back to bed we go!

I'm scared. This is the 3rd job that's balked over - not my sexuality - but my identity. As you know, being transgendered is not a choice, and it's not about sexual preference, it's about identity... and it's such a threat to most people, I can't seem to get hired. I really don't know what I'm going to do!

It was suggested I wait tables or bartend in a gay bar. I'm almost 40... to have worked as hard as I have, for as long, to come so far, only to find myself a barmaid... well it's a good thing I don't have any self esteem left, or I might cry! I'm entertaining... what's the modern, Chantix term? ... suicidal ideations again.

Tell me, Ms. Washington, "What a difference a day makes!"