Lunch

His first words to me were straight to the point.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

He was cute too, almost adorable even. No, definitely adorable.

I had spoken my first words to him earlier, "Hi, I'm Clio," but I guess what I took for massive indifference was instead intense shyness!

"No, I don't," I'm embarrassed to say. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He continues to play the strong silent type to my questions and pulls up a seat next to me at the sushi counter. Very close to me. Almost touching.

"Would you like some crab, Tyler?" Sam, the sushi chef, saves him from another awkward silence.

"Yeah," he replies, "seven pieces!"

"And what about you, Clio? Dragon roll today?"

I decline, opting instead for the Tiger Maki #2. I can't afford sashimi and a dragon maki today. #2 comes loaded with an obscene amount of fresh fish stuffed with crab. It's by far the best deal on the menu, and I've been wanting to try it ever since I watched him make one for Paul last week. Sam really spoils his regulars who tip well and I was hoping he wouldn't disappoint today. I was skint, but hungry, and this was to be my only meal of the day.

"How old are you," questions the tired-looking lady from the other side of the bar. She looks like I feel.

"Twenty-three," Tyler lies. There's no way he's twenty-three! She responds in kind saying she's ten.

"Touchdown!" Tyler exclaims to himself, caught up in the ESPN highlights shown on the big screen. He's impressed by my chopstick abilities- watching me pick single pieces of pickled cucumber from a small bowl.

I make small talk. "Are you in school here?"

He shakes his head and snuggles up to me. I look at Sam. "He knows what he likes, huh?"

"Tyler! Stop that!" Sam's embarrassed for me.

"It's okay, he's a cute!" I rub his head. "Is today take your son to work day," I tease.

Sam hands Tyler a bowl of crab sticks. "Nah, his mother had to run some errands today. Day care is $600 a month for just 6 hours a day! Plus food!"

The crab sticks provide a temporary distraction for Tyler.

"Wat u like to drink?" offers an unfamiliar waiter. Usually, my drinks are just assumed and brought out to me.

"She'll have a diet and water," Sam answers. Deep, deep down, beneath all the depression and worries, I tingle. He still sees me as a girl!

I suddenly notices it's dark inside here today, and the placemats have all changed. Instead of their normal menu, it's just the standard photos of pieces of nigiri. How pedestrian! How odd!

My creation arrives just as Tyler finishes his crab. Sam did not disappoint! I flashback to the last time I was treated so nicely by a sushi chef. His name was a Chinese man named John, and it was not subtle that the reason for the special treatment was my partner in crime, Miss Winn. She had that effect on men; she was stunningly beautiful and wildly charismatic. I laugh to myself when I realize that the reason I'm finally getting the same extra slices of fish, the larger, better cuts, and the free samples from other people's orders is because I've become that pretty, engaging girl at the bar.

Tyler returns his attention to me. He's quite articulate for a three year-old who's never been in school. Amazing how conscious young minds are... and how wide and wondrous the world looks through fresh eyes. No detail goes unnoticed, every object here at the sushi bar is new.

We play with the wasabi and he watches me make a paste from it with a little bit of low-sodium soy sauce. I draw a smiley face in the green goo and he giggles as I pour more soy sauce into the dish and a grin appears from the puddles of sauce. He helps me mix it all up into a light brown liquid but declines to try it. Smart kid! ;) He's also not interested in trying any of my maki. He knows what he doesn't like too!

My three year-old was rusty, and I find myself reverting back into the teacher role I so often fell into around my younger cousins, trying to point out the finer details of each moment. He's getting excited now, touching my arms. I wonder what he's thinking. By golly, I think this is the first time I've passed to such a young child! His excitement grows, and soon he's pulling and tugging on my arms.

"Tyler, let him eat."

My heart sinks to a new depth. Did he just say him? Or was the it gender-neutral 'em? It for sure wasn't her. Did he just figure it out, or has he known all along? Was this just a slip? He has called me 'she' all those times before; that's awful sweet if he knew and still played along!

The lady across the bar starts talking to Tyler. It's obvious from the way she engaged with him, tired and weary as she was, that she possessed some kind of innate nurturing ability I lacked. I'm suddenly aware of a whole new category of behaviors I would have to learn to ape. Joyce recently told me that's not the word a woman would use, but she didn't give me an alternative... mimic perhaps? I would have to learn to mimic a whole new set of rules until they fired at an autonomous level. It seemed the list of rules grew longer with every passing day. (No pun intended!)

I can no longer bear the thought of being this inbetweeny thing, which is in and of itself a sad commentary on the state of my affairs. A split-second after I hear the phrase, I re-remember it as, "Tyler, let her eat!" I feel my face return to my normal outside-world smiling mask. I guess I should wear my poker face more often; my emotions are often betrayed by my expression. I wonder if Sam noticed?

He flicks on a cartoon of the Jetsons. It can't be the old-school series... the use of shadows are too modern, and some characters too Japanese-influenced, even for an avant-guard 60s space cartoon. When did they make a Jetsons movie? Where was I? London, I hoped.

Tyler again starts pulling for attention, so I give him some affection. Sam, sensing an opportunity, heads to the other side of the restaurant and eats his lunch of tofu, veg, and rice in peace. Tyler and I watch the Jetsons as I finish my fish and rice.

Every time I go there, I meet someone new. Welcome to Vegas, ay?