The One Who Fooled Them All

Day 3: $500 No-limit Hold'em
It's hard to beat lucky and stupid.

From the big-blind ($200), I call an all-in raise ($1050) from the 4th seat with Ace-4 spades. I figure the guy for two high cards, but not an ace; he's making a move. What I didn't expect was the guy in 3rd position calls after I do (he had Queen-9 offsuit). The flop is Ace-9-7 with two spades. I bet $1000, I get raise $2000, I move all-in $3000 and get called! Turns out the other guy had Ace-King, so he's looking to win the main pot (I was wrong there), but the side pot is huge. Plus, I have two chances for a spade to win everything (and be table chip leader)... that's a 50% chance. The other guy was giving me those odds, plus I already had a pair of Aces, so I got my money in with way the best of it. Guess what the river was? Yup, a Queen.

Psyching out the psychologist
I guess the hormones are starting to kick into gear. Wasn't it just four months ago I was bemoaning the fact that I couldn't pass as much as I wanted? Now, as my good friend Alan put it, I am passing under the close scrutiny of poker players, who are supposed to be pretty observant.

But wait, there's more.

I have spent the past few days utterly loving being who I am and being perceived as I am. Casino crew have been chatting me up, players have been lavish with compliments, and I was even asked out on a date by a "playah".

He was all about getting into my pants. He was leaving that day but was planning on extending his trip just because he met me! He bought me a nice dinner, and since he was a clinical psychologist with two PhDs (he liked that I could talk smart with him) I assumed he had at least heard of people like me before. He was also a big Duran Duran fan, and a bit of a pretty boy, so I thought there was a chance he might have 'read' me and was either gay or bisexual.

And then there were the jokes. At one point, he was so enthralled by me he said, "there's nothing you could tell me that I wouldn't like... unless it was that you had an Adam's apple," and right as he said it, he winked at me. Was that a joke or did he know? He even scutinized my throat and came away satisfied. I'll tell you now, he didn't know, but of all the things he could have said... I swear, life freaks me out sometimes.

So before he used his phone to order new tickets home, I knew I had to come clean. Better here, now, than alone at night in a hotel, right? Maybe he already knows?

When I told him my 'secret', ala Lady Chablis (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil), he got up in the middle of dinner and left. How humiliating!

I was actually okay with everything until I realized that all the affections I had received from all the boys on the boat would probably have turned out the same way. That hurt. Now I'm paranoid. Today is the ladies only tournament. Did he tell anyone? Nightmares result. I dream I'm back in high school, on the swimming and diving team. I'm passing, but I think someone recognizes the old me; thinking I'm still a boy on bottom (but not checking), I follow habit scared into the boys locker room and felt the same uncomfortableness I did back then. Girls don't belong there. This time, I walk out and head for the ladies. Once I leave the boys locker room, I wake up refreshed.

And thus the question of the night remains, but no longer threatens to overshadow the question of the day... Will I pass among the ladies? Will I win the ladies' tournament? Sources say, "yes" to both! I've never felt more female, and I've never felt more confident I can win. Here we go!