Mr. Big

So I don't hear from Mr. Testorosa the next day, but I'm not worried. I know he's got plenty of seductive images in his brain... he'll get in touch eventually.

And so he does!

Gary: R u a s/m?

[Am I a sado-masochist? huh? i guess it depends on who you ask! Ooooh, shemale. he must have felt me up while I was sleeping!]

Clio: Yes, I am transsexual... I live full time as a woman... passport, d/l, everything. Does that change things? People usually get to know me before putting hands down my pants. Sorry you didn't know sooner... I enjoyed your company!

[Playing innocent, for real this time.]

Gary: It's totally dif for me. I loved u sucking me, but who wouldn't. Ur a very fine, very creative n very smart person n i love that. I had a great time at ur place. I don't judge people, I judge honest n integrity.

[Of course you loved me sucking you. That means you're a man. You might have been my first, but I was more than familiar with the concept of good blow jobs. Don't judge me!]

Clio: You're sweet. I didn't tell you in bed because I didn't want you to leave. It's a long story. I was selfish, so I'm sorry 4 that.

[You know the story. I wasn't going to force him to accept my full complexity.]

Gary: It's okay. Although Id don't want to have anal sex under these circumstances, i really like u n would have that party with u. But i'm pure hetero.

[Woah. That thing of yours is bigger than anything I've ever seen come out of me. No way is that thing going in me!]

[Of course you want to party with me. I know how to party!]

[Straight? LMAO. If I had a nickel every time a straight man says he's pure hetero after a sexual experience with another man, I'd be richer than Bill Gates.]

Clio: Just treat me like a lady... that's all I ask. You're too big for me anyway! I'll get better at the sucking!

[setting the stage for bartering sex for jewelry...]

Clio: It's not a gay thing... I identity as female, not gay! Gay men are into gay men... not girls like me!

[It's true. I'm pretty girly as far as gay men go.]

Gary: Got it. Ur the best. I respect n accept u as a sexy, beautiful lady n i had a great time wed nite. I'd like to do the party, especially if several guests will suck on me.

[That's me a sexy beautiful lady... wha-wha-what? Okay sure, bring some girlfriends. Now we're really gonna party.]

Clio: You can bring girls if you want...

[Now we're really gonna party!]

Gary: I was thinking there might be some there

[We have just lost cabin pressure. Please use the oxygen mask in front of you, and return all seats and trays to their upright position.]

Clio: LOL! You want free drugs and girls? How generous are you? If I'm just a fluffer to you... Applebees don't come close!

[Okay, the ball is in your court! I've thrown you a soft one. Throw a touchdown! Hit something with a stick...]

Gary: Like i said... i had a great time with u.

[Indeed! who wouldn't!]

Clio: Is that a yes?

24 hours later, still no response.

Wow, he wants me to throw a cock sucking party where he's the guest of honor. Haha. I can't be surprised that he's a dick... that much was very obvious from the start. I just hoped to maybe get a little something out it. Eh, I was too good. He'll be back. All it takes is one text from me pretending to have a bunch of girls over and he'll be begging to visit, and he can - provided he brings a rock with him!

And if he doesn't, well, if I'm ever filming a porno and need a 12"er with a hot car, I know who to call.