Back home again, in Indiana...

Back home again, in Indiana,
and it seems, that I can see ...

Um... lots of things. I've left California for now (more on that later) and have just arrived to the land of my birth. I was picked up at the airport by my uncle, who offered to take me out to dinner... bonus!

He wanted to go to Cracker Barrel, where they don't practice equal rights and where they put animal bits in the veggies just to piss off the vegetarians. (Seriously, check out the menu; lard (animal fat) in the carrots, bacon in the green beans, chicken stock in the soup & rice, etc., and who knows what they put into cornbread that makes it non-vegetarian.)

I politely declined, and I was able to talk him into Max & Erma's instead (it was the best I could do). How quickly I forget that this is the land of fat people and bad food. For example, I tried to order (from the menu) steamed broccoli, only to be informed that there is no way they can prepare it (or the other steamed veggie menu item) without butter. No way to do it!?!? WTF? I know healthy choices are not chosen here, but they can't steam veggies without drowing them in butter? Good greif, Charlie Brown!

My uncle teased me that there wouldn't hardly be any butter on them, and when they came, he offered up a floret. I chose one tiny piece and I felt like I was drinking melted butter from the tap ala Homer Simpson. Yuck! He could barely taste the butter, but then again, the restaurant put 1/2 a stick on his baked potato, so I guess after that, you wouldn't, would you?

I then looked around and noticed the percentage of obsese (not overweight, obese) folks around me, and I pitied them. Here they are, like my uncle, thinking they are doing the right thing by ordering broiled fish (broiled in butter) and eating veggies, but no... they might as well be eating a Snickers. Sigh.

On the inspiring side, it is wonderfuly warm and humid, such a welcome change from the comfortable, arid California air with it's freshly washed air from the Pacific. It is beautiful here, though not in a Big Sur kind of way, but in a "boy, the corn sure is 7ft tall" kind of way.

Visions from the Pacific

A good friend of mine suggested I take a drive down the Pacific Coast Highway from Monterey to Big Sur before I left California. (And you didn't know I was even out there, eh?) The scenery was so moving, she composed a list of the form "It is so beautiful ..." and in that spirt, I'd like to do the same for my trip, so here goes.

It was so foggy ...

1. Carmel should have been named White Chocolate.
   
2. I felt like I was inside the world's biggest bong hit.
3. I couldn't see myself holding my picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm.
4. If I closed my eyes, I could almost see the ocean.
5. Foggy 'ol London-town seemed like San Jose by comparison.
6. Why are all those dogs barking and where did the come from?
7. Big Sur could have been a her.

Since I'm from the MidWest, where the weather comes from, I wasn't going to let a little fog ruin my trip. Perhaps I was in such a good mood because of the little roadster I was driving. I felt like I was in a car commercial... the faster I went around those mountainside curves, the more the car hugged the road. It was like driving sex. I felt bad for not having bought the mountain dinner beforehand.

So in my post-asphalt glow, I hiked down the side of the mountain and sat and meditated. I focused on the barks of the otters. I became the barks. I contemplated my existence and my future, and found it to be reflected in the fog surrounding me. Then, as the clouds parted and I could for the first time see the oceans and animals below, I went back to the car and took a photo (shown above).

About the photo... the one posted here doesn't do justice to the original one I created. it's 20,000 pixels by 6,000 pixels and for you to experience it as I designed it, you would need to stack 5 monitors on top of each other, and then replicate that 16 times to the right. (!) Cutting-edge technology is like Sesame Street to me... anyone want to fund my artistic endeavors and research? :)

Oh, if you're curious how I could memorize such an innane little list about my experience that has nothing to do with reality... I used a memory palace. The palace I used was London, outside my flat, and here's the image I created which helped me remember the list:

A polar bear smoking from a Roor (brand of bong) outside my flat with a dog barking at it, held by a dude in a dress eating carmel candies with his eyes closed.

Neat, huh?

Introduction to Drugs, Part II

Here are two articles on a recent scientific study on the effects of our friend, psylocybin (the 'magic' in 'Magic Mushrooms').

• Wall Street Journal, Go Ask Alice
• Forbes, M&M Drug Study

(In general, I don't read news sites with advertising, but that's the topic of another post. These links were sent to me by a trusted friend, so I'll just move on...)

Make what you will from the articles, for the claims are true, but I want to address a few things.

#1: "Two-thirds described the effects of the drug, called psilocybin, as among the five most meaningful experiences of their lives."

Yeah, that happens. Ask me though, and getting high in a lab wouldn't be up there... getting high with friends at home, in a club, in the woods, in the city, I.E., doing something... yah, those can be great times! They are only the most meaningful experiences until you actually do the things that you realized while tripping... then those experiences become the most meaningful things. Get it?

#2: "But in 30% of the cases, the drug provoked harrowing experiences dominated by fear and paranoia. Two participants likened the episodes to being in a war."

Yeah, that happens... until the responsible tripper tells them... "Hey... you're just tripping on a bad thought... everything's okay, we're having a great time," and then... they do. Tripping in an unfamiliar, sterile place like a lab is a recipe for a bad trip! I'm surprised only 30% had one!

#3: The method employed... First off, they selected people with no prior hallucinagenic drug experiences, and gave them no training. OMG!

And finally, the sad part, couched in the amazing part:

It was widespread abuse in the 1960s that led to hallucinogens becoming illegal, effectively shutting down then-burgeoning corporate and academic research programs that had suggested the agents might be valuable research and therapeutic tools. One of the last influential studies was the Good Friday Experiment in 1962 in which 20 seminary students were given either psilocybin or nicotinic acid during a religious service. The 10 who got psilocybin reported intense spiritual experiences with positive benefits; one follow-up study suggested those effects lasted 25 years.

Entheogen literally means (from ancient Greek) "that which generates God (or godly inspiration) within a person."

Not all drugs are bad... not all people who use them are evil dealers, and not all uses of them are perverse, some are even holy!

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

It's sunny in California!

Plants regulate their activity (blooming, fruiting, etc.) based not on temperature, but instead on the number of hours of light in a day.

So do people!

I'm staying in a house of glass, in California, in the summer.

Did I mention it's sunny out here? It's impossible to block out the sun in this house.

That means my normal routine of going to bed at 7am and waking up at 1pm isn't feasible. Instead (thanks to timezone change) I now go to bed at 4am and am up around 7am.

You'd think that would make a girl sleepy... but apparently not, as I've been doing this for a couple of weeks now!

I love the west coast!

Experience Apple

I just recently applied to Apple for several openings for user interface engineers, usability experts, and software engineers. As you would expect from such a sophisticated computer company, their job application process begins with the web, at http://jobs.apple.com.

The first thing a potential employee needs to do is create an account. Actually, you don't need to create an account to search for jobs, and this is cool. So, I searched through the listings and started to make note of some potential good fits. After a while, I noticed that the site provided a mechanism for storing the details of jobs of interest. Bonus! So, I start adding jobs to my 'job list.'

But this process is time-consuming, and the way they have their system setup is - I kid you not - about the least efficient way of searching for jobs. So alas, my session times out, I have to re-log in, and guess what... my job list is completely erased.

Bastards! So, I create an account. I search for jobs again. I start to get annoyed that I can't press the 'back' button without resubmitting my search critera, and if I do, the server resets my page position back to the top (searching through a list of 509 jobs... keeping the same place is important!)

The alternative is to manually resubmit search critera (instead of having the browser do it) and that just yields the same results, except with more effort.

Interestingly, if I search for jobs in London, I get *MORE* jobs than if I search for the UK. Undeterred, I keep saving potential jobs to my list and begin to create my online resume for Apple (they won't accept PDFs of CVs like every other rational technology company does).

I start to create the resume. I avoid the temptation of the 'cut and paste' option; surely it will look better if I fill in their forms, right? Erm... I get strange errors trying to avoid the timeout issue... double postings of information... most forms handle, but some create problems... like adding schools. Bah!

I keep going and I keep getting timeout messages and finally, it ignores my request and times me out anyway. I lose my saved job list.

$@#@$^*%^$#$@#$^#&*$^%#$@#@%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$#

...

I refine my online CV; it keeps treating it like I've created a new one and notifiying apple of the changes. (ick!)

...

You can send applications to multiple jobs in your job list at once; I plan to do in two batches, one for the software engineering job, one for the usability jobs. After doing one, the system deletes the saved jobs that I didn't apply for, so I have to add them AGAIN!!!

...

A friend of mine who works for Apple as a head engineer once proudly told me how all of Apple only has like 20 engineers. They should have spared one for their application system. Apple would be blessed to have someone like me working for them, and GOD AS MY WITNESS, I TRIED, but dammit, Janet!

In the end, I withdrew everything after seeing Apple HQ in Cupertino and having lunch there. Do you remember high school? That's *exactly* what it felt like. I repeat, I have not felt like I have been in high school that much except for the time I was actually in high school. Yeah, funk this, I hated high school, the last thing I want to do is work at a place like that.

Funny, cause I would have thought it would have been more like a college.

Apple? iGlad iNot

Fried Yellow Worms

Fried Yellow Worms

a
haiku
by
PrettyGetter

Why, hello birdie!
Why are you staring at me?
You must be hungry!

Would you like some food?
Would you like a strawberry?
Birds eat berries, right?

Huh? You don't want it?
You are turning down good food?
What is it you want?

Wait; this is Mc'Ds
I bet you want a french fry!
(How sad, if is true!)

Reaching in the sack,
Finding a fried yellow worm,
Tossing to the ground.

Look at birdie eat!
Faster than I imagined,
Fries over berries!

If you feed the birds,
remember, no strawberries,
but fried yellow worms.

Does Not Compute... part II

In an earlier post, I complained about the 'tests' us humans have to go through to prove designers that we are really humans. It seems I was a bit rash...

Hotcaptcha is a mash-up 'are you a human' test which uses photos from HotOrNot to determine if a user on the other end of the net is a human or a person. Here's a sample:

You can vote on just boyz, just girlz, or a mix of both.

It's really kind of a creepy experience... looking at 6 people who statistically rank as 3 or lower and 3 people who rank as 8 or higher. You don't normally see that kind of thing in a club in real life. I mean, you see ugly people all the time, (say, at Wal-Mart, or anywhere in Midwest America) but you don't normally find dispersed among them in a 1-to-3 ratio extremely hot people... and this is a good thing (for most people) because it creates the 'office pretty' effect and the 'sacred cow' phenomenon!

We've all felt the effects of the 'office pretty' person... that individual who is empirically, not that attractive, but when you place hir in a room with even less attractive people, over time, sie becomes more and more attractive. Given enough time in a job, a 5 can become a 9, in other words.

You can also see the 'sacred cow' effect when ordinary girls go to an engineering school dominated by boys. All of a sudden, with the lack of competition, they are magicially tranformed to the state of goddess. Their sense of entitlement is almost cute. I imagine this happens to boys in say, Elementary Education and Nursing courses too, though presumably both take place inside the larger liberal arts system where attractive boys can be found.

But I digress... anyway, to date, this is the most amusing (and at the same time, appalling) !Turing Test I've come across. What's a !Turing Test? Why, it's the opposite of a Turing Test, of course! What's a Turing Test? Put simply, it's a test imagined by Alan Turing in a paper he wrote in 1950 (you can read it here) which has come to be the foundation of the philosophy of artificial intelligence.

Because I'm too lazy to type this fresh, allow me to quote from the book of Wikipedia:

The test was inspired by a party game known as the "Imitation Game", in which a man and a woman go into separate rooms, and guests try to tell them apart by writing a series of questions and reading the typewritten answers sent back. In this game, both the man and the woman aim to convince the guests that they are the woman. Turing proposed a test employing the imitation game as follows: "We now ask the question, 'What will happen when a machine takes the part of A in this game?' Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace our original, 'Can machines think?'" (Turing 1950) Later in the paper he suggested an "equivalent" alternate formulation involving a judge conversing only with a computer and a man.

Turing originally proposed the test in order to replace the emotionally charged and (for him) meaningless question "Can machines think?" with a more well-defined one. The advantage of the new question, he said, was that it "drew a fairly sharp line between the physical and intellectual capacities of a man." (Turing 1950)

And thus, we see how the history of computing, artificial intelligence, and HotOrNot is linked to boys trying to pass as girls.

Now that we're up to speed, I'd like to suggest that the real question should be can the system of man+machine be considered to think? For this, the judge is your consciousness (pause on that for a moment)... the 'man' is your physical body, and the 'machine' is whatever you are interfacing with on the other side of your computer screen. Will your consciousness decide that the combination of your body plus machine be considered to think?

Once you grok this, you'll probably come to the same conclusion as Alan Turing, that the original quesitons of 'can machines think' is fairly meaningless, and misses the point entirely, kinda like this mashup of HotOrNot.

This Day In Herstory... July 7, 2005

It's been a rough year. Personally, I've met with tremendous growth opportunities (read: pain) and my work has been intense, but very productive.

And so I suppose it's never convenient to get robbed. It just plain sucks. You come home and everything seems normal (because they picked your locks) and the first thing you notice is that your first view into the flat, which is always the same... is somehow different. The room is not like you last left it, which is impossible for someone who lives alone. The you notice your projector is missing. WTF? The mind reels for an explanation and you emotionally attach to the first thing that pops into your head. "Why would my landlord come in here and borrow it without even asking me first? He doesn't even know how to use it!"

Then you notice open drawers in the bedroom and the awful reality begins to sink in... YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!

You run to your stash of currencies in five different countries... well hidden, but now... gone. How smart of you to avoid needlessly paying currancy conversion fees by keeping a wad of cash hidden in your bedroom. Yeah, you were ready to fly to any given country on a whim (and you did), but now you're $20K poorer. You've gone from buying gifts for friends 'just because' to not being able to buy groceries in just 3 short hours.

You look around, in shock. What else is gone? Credit cards? A great tinge of panic... no, they left them... they were only looking for things they could sell quickly. My computers!!! My terabytes of data!!! No, they left them... too bulky. The thought of losing so much personal data makes you woosey, you sit on the floor. My jewlery? Gone. Now you realize the memories attached with them are now just that ... memories. Gut-wrentching pangs. Slowly, this turns to anger and action. You rush downstairs to view the CCTV of the shop below you, knowing that the perp would be captured on the screen. After 15 minutes of searching... you've found him. Now you rush out onto the street, frantically searching for that bastard.

Hours later, you come home exhausted, spent, and miserable. But in the end, what's missing? You still have your health, your experience, your friends, you ... it doesn't work. Fact is, your life savings is gone and so is a $4,000 projector, which was also your main source of entertainment, information, and relaxation. Heh, but you can forget about relaxing now. How about getting exponentially more paranoid for every hour you are away from home. How about doing an inventory check everytime you return to your flat? How about going out of your way to hide things you would normally have displayed?

Weeks go by, and then, finally, one day, you find yourself not looking longingly at the blank spaces where your stuff used to live. You find yourself enjoying being out again. You have come to believe that yes, you have passed some cosmic Taoist test about attaching yourself to your material possesions. And then, one ordinary Sunday afternoon, you come home to find your front door in two pieces.

Now add in loads of stress and aggrivation from living and working in a foreign country and being separated from your friends, family, and comforts, put yourself in a competitive publish or perish environment, and throw in, just for fun, a good measure of gender dysphoria. Welcome to my July 5, 2005. It's pretty fuct, I know... and then ... not just two days later...


Bombs in my backyard! I live at the left part of the #4 circle. From my home, I can walk to the bus blast in 4 minutes and the Russell Square blast 6 mins... that should give you an idea of how close I am. What in distance to Americans might just be the width of a mall can cover two small inner London towns here, so while the blasts were physically close to me, they were literally in another city from my eyes… I walk everywhere, my physical world is small.

However, the blasts occurred where many students and locals work and live, right on the fringes of UCL's campus. The bus blast occurred just outside where UCLIC (and my old office) was based.

My first reaction was to phone home and let family know I'm fine. I've never heard my mother in more of a fit of despair, fear, and panic. Somehow, she seemed to know before it happened. Meanwhile, the local reaction was much more of what you'd expect from a people who had World War II on their door step... people in London worked. Most high street stores closed early (because there was not much interest in shopping), but city services were near normal. Kids were not told of the event while at school… at then end of the day, they were told ‘a security event has occurred’ and they left it to the parents to explain what happened. Now that's slick.

For most people, getting OUT of central London was trickier than normal, but not impossible.

I wasn't able to sort my mind before the explosions, but that didn't seem to matter as my mind was focused on the things that really mattered. Since then, I have been helping friends, and also walking around the city, talking to strangers in need, helping them, and taking photos of this beautiful and calm city so you all back home can know I continue to be safe and happy. Many people just need to talk about it, and have someone listen. I guess I'm no different.

I don’t know what the media coverage of this event is like in America… I feel most Americans do not get unbiased news reported to them, even those that think they do.

So 7/7 is going on, the UK's 9/11... I'm walking around the streets of London just hours after the attacks, and what do I see?

As an American living in the REAL world, I am frequently asked to explain people like this to the rest of people also living in the real the world.

The statement he chose to make…

Why he chose to make it…

The time he chose to make it…

Visions from the Dead

Tomorrow

is
the
anniversary
the
July 7,
2005
terrorist
attacks
on
London.

9/11 occured 1,000 miles from where I lived. 7/7 (and the subsequent failed attack two weeks later) occured just a few blocks from where I lived. The iconic bus explosion - as horrific to England as are to Americans the images of planes crashing into the World Trade Center - occured just one block away from my old office.

My home was at the intersection of the two diagonal red 'blast lines' just below the fourth explosion, and just to the left of the second one.

It's hard not to feel affected by this 'anniversary.' And on the eve of this dreadful day... a video showing London Tube bomber Shehzad Tanweer has been aired on al-Jazeera television. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/5154714.stm)

This is the second time one of the suicide bombers from 7/7 has come back from the dead to leave a message. (The first time was Mohammad Sidique Khan -- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4206708.stm)

Each time, the message has been simple, clear, and consise, and each time the message has been misunderstood by the West. Put simply, it has always been "leave us alone and we'll leave you alone." Anyone who has read the Koran knows that they are obligated by Allah to follow this rule (they are basically quoting scripture to us). Even Bin Laden says this in his latest message addressed to the US:

“Your salvation will only come in your withdrawal from our land, in stopping the robbing of our oil and resources, and in stopping your support for the corrupt and corrupting leaders.”

Whatever your stance is, I think those are pretty reasonable requests as a first step toward creating a peaceful coexistence through non-violent, diplomatic means, but I do not wish to enter that debate... especially not with Americans. Whatever the consequences to following these actions are, no other actions will bring peace (short of total destruction) until these basic requests are met; it's right there in the Koran, check it out.

The Bigger Picture

What I do want to discuss is the bigger picture of it all... what hath technology enabled?

Just 150 years ago, if a person from the dead had reappeard to a group of people, can you imagine what the reaction would be? Recall that there was no TV, no radio, no recordings, no photos, almost no media as we know it. There was only one way to see and hear a person who was already dead... so I suspect it would be the similar as to what happened 2,000 years ago - that person would have been elevated to the status of a god, prophet, buddha, or super-natural being. Whether or not the 'vision' would have been interactive is beside the point, any message delivered would have been a message that would have been listened to. Q&A afterward optional.

Now, thanks to technology, with $100 and a nearby Wal-Mart, any mere mortal can do the same. Don't have $100? Well, that's just a week of washing dishes to achieve a form of life after death. Hopefully, your message won't start out, "Hi. If you are watching this, then I am dead and I bet you all are pretty bummed."

You are either awed by this revelation, or numb to it, but such is the progress of technology - and just one example at that!

Of course, society has moved on too. It seems we are no longer impressed with messages from the dead, even those who give their lives for the chance to obtain an audience hear it. What technology giveth, society taketh away.

But not quite... now think about what services like tribe allow... think hard about the nature of consciousness and what one can do with the ability to reach and interact with millions of voices. The tower of Babel has been climbed, for sure, but that is just the tip of the iceberg!

Consciousness has been freed from the temporal and spatial limitations of its host body and is free to join and merge with others. The human is no longer what will survive, but instead, the ideas created by them... especially as ideas form that are not of one single mind, but rather are the result of many. We are merely ants moving memes from one format to another; simply instruments of their creation, evolution, and preservation.

Our bodies, our DNA, our history is just one ginormous external memory system, and taken together with all the other life on this planet, represents the sum total of what has been learned over the billions of years of evolution. Kinda cool, huh?

Now consider that technology, first through verbal language, then books, now with computers and media, is enabling us to accelerate the pace of knowledge by storing it outside of our DNA (the domain of instincts). No longer do ideas survive purely by natural selection. Unnatural selection is upon us!

Our ideas survive, but we cannot.

To quote from 'Jerry Springer, The Opera':
"Hopefully, what will survive of us, is love."